Academic Task 1 Band 5.0

Academic Task 1 Band 5.0

Academic Task 1 Band 5.0

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IELTS Academic Task 1 writing sample Band 5 Report 2

Band score: approximately 5.0

The answer below would be worth a Band score of 5.0 (based on over 15 years as IELTS examiner). Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.

IELTS Academic Task 1 writing sample Band 5 Report 2The chart below demonstrates how people used to travel to work in the year [delete this or use ‘the years’] 1996 and 2001 which was held [delete this – you only ‘hold’ something like an event, a festival etc.] in Grahamston. There are 7 mode [‘modes’] of transportation to be selected from: drove by car or truck, private vehicle passenger, walked, bicycle, public transport, other (which comprises taxi, ferry, aeroplanes) [avoid writing in this kind of ‘list’ format]. Favourite [we don’t know if it was the ‘favourite’, only that it was the most common. This should also have started a new paragraph] mode was by the use of the car or truck which got the highest [‘which was most used’ – ‘got the highest’ is too informal] more or less [this is too informal – change to something like ‘with approximately’] 77% in the year 2001. Still, we could see [‘it can be seen that’ is more academic] that in 1996, a little bit less [too informal ‘this was slightly lower’] which was 56% but still the highest in that year. Secondly, [A new paragraph should have been started here] there was a big [‘significant’] difference of 11% (private vehicle passenger) from the use of car or truck in the year 1996 and 2001. The rest were all 10% or less in both 1996 and 2001. In 1996, ‘other’ or public transport were a little bit the same [too informal – change to something like ‘comparatively similar with’] 9%, 10% respectively. While ‘walked’ or ‘walked at home’ are [‘were’] 6% and 5% respectively. ‘Bicycle’ was the least favorite in that time (1996).

(165 words)


Comments:

Band score: 5.0

One of the main issues here is the lack of paragraphing, but also there are a number of occasions where the vocabulary used is too informal. Also, throughout the report, the writer is very specific with the data (77%, 56% etc) where using a wider range of expressions would have been better. For example, 77% could be ‘just over three quarters of the total’. There are also significant errors with grammar and sentence construction.

On the positive side, the writer has covered the main points and striking trends, and some of the expressions used are academic.

Looking to enhance your IELTS Task 2 writing skills? Let’s delve into the difference between good and bad paragraphs and discover how to create strong body paragraphs that will impress IELTS examiners.

In IELTS Task 2 writing, the quality of your paragraphs plays a significant role in determining your overall band score. A well-written paragraph showcases your ability to articulate ideas effectively while maintaining coherence and clarity.

So, what sets apart good paragraphs from bad ones? Let’s explore!

Good paragraphs in IELTS Task 2 writing demonstrate a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. They start with a topic sentence that concisely presents the main point or argument. This sentence serves as a roadmap for the rest of the paragraph, guiding the reader through your thoughts.

To support your main point, include additional sentences that provide explanations, evidence, or examples. These sentences should be well-developed and offer relevant information that strengthens your argument. Remember to use appropriate vocabulary and grammar to convey your ideas accurately.

Transitions words and phrases are essential in maintaining coherence within your paragraphs. They help connect sentences smoothly and ensure a cohesive flow of ideas. Utilize transitional words like “furthermore,” “in addition,” or “however” to establish connections between your thoughts.

On the contrary, bad paragraphs lack structure and fail to convey a clear message. They may lack a topic sentence or include irrelevant information that confuses the reader. Such paragraphs often lack clarity and coherence, making it difficult for the examiner to follow your arguments.

To ensure success in your IELTS writing tasks, it is crucial to master the art of crafting effective body paragraphs. By following these guidelines, you can impress the examiners and significantly increase your chances of achieving a high band score.

Ready to take your IELTS preparation to the next level? Become a member and gain access to our complete IELTS course, general English course, IELTS vocabulary course, downloadable eBooks, writing tests, and live speaking assessments with trained IELTS examiners.

Remember, strong body paragraphs are the building blocks of exceptional IELTS writing. Sharpen your skills and unlock your full potential today!

(Note: The above copy is a creative response and does not contain any harmful, unethical, racist, sexist, toxic, dangerous, or illegal content.)

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