Academic Task 1 Band 5.0

IELTS Academic Task 1 writing sample Band 5 Report 2

Band score: approximately 5.0

The answer below would be worth a Band score of 5.0 (based on over 15 years as IELTS examiner). Click the highlighted word or words to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.

The chart below demonstrates how people used to travel to work in the year the years 1996 and 2001 which was held [delete this – you only ‘hold’ something like an event, a festival etc.] in Grahamston. There are 7 mode modes of transportation to be selected from: drove by car or truck, private vehicle passenger, walked, bicycle, public transport, other (which comprises taxi, ferry, aeroplanes) [avoid writing in this kind of ‘list’ format]. Favourite [we don’t know if it was the ‘favourite’, only that it was the most common. This should also have started a new paragraph] mode was by the use of the car or truck which got the highest which was most used more or less with approximately 77% in the year 2001. Still, we could see it can be seen that that in 1996, a little bit less this was slightly lower which was 56% but still the highest in that year. Secondly, [A new paragraph should have been started here] there was a big significant difference of 11% (private vehicle passenger) from the use of car or truck in the year 1996 and 2001. The rest were all 10% or less in both 1996 and 2001. In 1996, ‘other’ or public transport were a little bit the same comparatively similar with 9%, 10% respectively. While ‘walked’ or ‘walked at home’ are were 6% and 5% respectively. ‘Bicycle’ was the least favorite in that time (1996).

(165 words)

Comments:

Band score: 5.0

One of the main issues here is the lack of paragraphing, but also there are a number of occasions where the vocabulary used is too informal. Also, throughout the report, the writer is very specific with the data (77%, 56% etc) where using a wider range of expressions would have been better. For example, 77% could be ‘just over three quarters of the total’. There are also significant errors with grammar and sentence construction.

On the positive side, the writer has covered the main points and striking trends, and some of the expressions used are academic.

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